


maybe in the heavens

by chexx_writes



Series: Danplan Oneshots aaaaa [1]
Category: DanPlan, actuallyoddplan
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, actuallyoddplan - Freeform, but like im cool w it, danplan oneshot, fuck my interneT, im just vibing leave me alone, jaysuh angst, okay lets go aaaaaaaaa, the discord server wanted this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 12:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22396015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chexx_writes/pseuds/chexx_writes
Summary: Its actually based off of sircantus’s rpg but w less brain cells bc im too lazy to think of another plot or anything so LIKE. SO I GUESS ITS AN AU??? LMAO,, HERE U GO
Relationships: Hosuh Lee/Jay Ko
Series: Danplan Oneshots aaaaa [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611961
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	maybe in the heavens

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the laffycult discord server](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=the+laffycult+discord+server).



> this quickly derailed into just hosuh being sad but like HERE U GO KJFGEJKHF

It was only a week. So much can happen in a week. You can make friends, go on adventures, almost get killed by royal guards...

You can fall in love.

You can fall in love unintentionally. 

You can fall in love with a friend.

You can fall in love with someone you trust.

You can fall in love and never reach the day where you find out if they love you back.

Because now they’re gone. 

That’s why I wrote this. I never thought I’d actually go through with it. Sure, I’ve thought about it from time to time, but I never thought I’d actually write this.

I never knew this was going to happen.

I didn’t want this to happen.

No one did. 

But the universe has its own plans, doesn’t it? It doesn’t care who loves who, who wants to live and who wants to die.

Having said that…

Dan, Stephen, Ann. You guys were the best thing that’s happened to my life. I know you didn’t expect this from me of all people. I know you’ve always viewed me as the “happy” one. And sure, it used to be true.

Not anymore.

God, I’m already crying. I still can’t believe I’m writing this. But it’s for the better. For all of us.

I know we were all shaken by Jay’s death. But It was my fault. I was the one with him. I was supposed to steer us away from the guards. But they got him. I looked away. I wasn’t paying attention. And when I turned around to ask him what I should buy…

He was gone. 

I just barely saw the look of terror on his face as he was being dragged away. I froze. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t even move. I just watched as he was being taken away.

And I cried. 

I cried because I never got to tell him I loved him. 

I cried because I lost a friend.

I cried because I made you guys suffer too.

I cried because I knew he wasn’t coming back.

And I regret it.

I just didn’t know that he would be killed for it, that he wanted to have FUN for once in his life, that he wanted to have actual FRIENDS. I still held onto that tiny shred of hope.

But that was foolish of me.

There was no warning to his death. 

That’s why I’m writing this, so you can at least know why I did it. 

Because I loved him so much. 

And I never got to say so.

Maybe we’ll meet in the clouds while wandering.

Maybe we’ll cry when we reunite.

Maybe we’ll get to tell each other how much we love each other.

No, not maybe. 

We will.

So, Dan, Stephen, Ann… I hope you understand. It’s my fault and I’m being selfish, but I want you to know that I’ll always be here in spirit. I’m sorry I had to leave and I’m sorry you never got to say goodbye. 

Just know I’ll be there, even you can’t see me.

Me and jay both.

I love you all.

Stephen, don’t be too hard on Dan. I know he’s sometimes annoying but he’s trying his best. 

Dan, don’t put yourself down. You’re doing amazing. Keep your head up.

Ann, you can have my staff. It’s very shiny and I think you’ll like it. 

You don’t need to worry about me; I’m finally going to join Jay like I wanted to here on Earth. We’ll be happy up the sky. Don’t worry about us.

So this is it world.

Goodbye.

Love,  
Hosuh


End file.
